Wite-Out©

I want to overlook 

the mistakes I made in my past 

and start over with a blank sheet,

except in doing so,

there will always be a hidden layer neglected 

and a fresh start infected,

I’m just stuck dealing with my scribbled sheet

Could I easily erase the pain that was written in ink?

Forcing the eraser across my page

hoping my past thoughts in my brain could no longer sync

each and every day I’m constantly adding to this paper

never regretting my choices,

but sometimes wishful about my memory 

forgetting some of the voices

I wonder, would wite out work to help me?

Would I be able to wite out the memories of us,

but attempt to keep the good?

Would I be able to get rid of the time you cheated,

but remember the times you made me smile?

Would that be any good for me?

I want to overlook the times I was sad

thinking that world was ending 

and that everything was doomed to go bad

it seemed as if the pain was never ending

and my feelings were constantly bleeding,

so here I am pretending that past isn’t here

could I wite out the mistakes I made

and write out what should’ve been done?

Let’s say it worked,

the wite out has formed a layer 

across my scribbled sheet

making it appear freshly new from a far,

but up close are presented the scars

could the past finally be forgotten?

Although the layer is hidden

my past will always be smitten

with me,

always trying to catch up 

and undress itself with thee

the wite out is no longer in use,

I’m just stuck being me.

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Syd Leilani © 2020